Long Time No Write

A lot has happened since I last wrote. I see they totally screwed up this blog space so I'll have to find something else. 
Anyway, nothing that happened was good. Shall I tell you all about it?

Pain is the key word. Lots of pain. That and painful loneliness. I can complain here, right? Fortunately summer was not hot and went fast. Unfortunately fall is going fast too. Too fast. And I am spending these very long days and evenings alone, as usual. 

Somewhere during the summer, probably while looking for something to wear, I scraped my swollen leg on the side of a large metal and woven grass trunk thing that I keep clothes in. Sadly, most of my clothes are lost upstairs somewhere. My husband can't remember where he puts things, he just puts them. 
So, I scratched three marks on the lower part of my left leg. It started to weep because it was swollen. I called the husband and requested some bandages because we didn't have any. He got some that said they pull moisture out of the wound. They did that but tried to pull it out of my entire leg. It just started weeping constantly. To make a very long story short, I will tell you that five months later and it might be healed enough to just lightly cover it with something. It was almost healed once but one of the NHS nurses screwed it up and it all came back. I will know more tomorrow.

After that my right hip started to hurt. Not sure why but the only thing I can think of was sitting with my leg up all the time to get it to not swell anymore. I guess my hip got tired of that. My hip would cause me trouble from time to time for a day or two but never like this. So it's been 10 weeks and I've have two shots for bursitis. We're pretty sure it's osteoarthritis. That's not good.

In the mean time, my good friend, dear friend Jim has stopped talking to me. His daughter said he's not mad at me or anything, he's just always doing something and his phone is messed up and he can't get my calls for some reason and he sleeps a lot. I don't know if I buy that because they call him all the time. Maybe he doesn't want to be distracted from his games. I've been through that before with someone. It's no fun. I can't imagine he's trying to make a go of it with his wife after she cheated on him for a year. Look, I don't want to run off with him, I just want to talk to him like we used to. He made me laugh. He's a funny guy. I could tell him anything. He's my friend and I miss him a lot. That's been pretty depressing. 

So I've been in a lot of pain and have no one to talk to. Zanny won't talk on the phone and although Jonni said she would alllllllllllways be there for me, she won't talk either. Just a few comments on Facebook. Screw 'em.

Still no news on my kidney operation. I asked my doctor about it. He had totally forgotten about the whole thing. Great! Thanks! Asshole.

What was left of my family is now gone except for Kelli and sometimes Dennis and Eleanor when they can be bothered. The rest of them are all fighting over Mom's stuff and trying to sell the house. We won't get much from that because they don't know what they're doing.

My mother, the one who wanted for years and years to have a baby girl seems to have forgotten about her little girl over the years. Nothing was left to me in her will. Not one thing. She told me once I could have her class ring. She gave it to one of my nieces. She left things for everyone else, wrote their names down and everything. I didn't think she hated me that much but if that was her way for getting back at me for telling her I know the truth about everything, then screw her too. I don't know why she did that to me. I do care. There really wasn't anything I wanted, I just wanted to finally be accepted as the daughter she always. Then when she got me she didn't know what to do with me. 
She told me once, "I don't think your father and I did right by you". NO SHIT???? 

Anyway, I don't want to continue down that road right now. I just wanted to  catch up and then try to do some Christmas shopping. It's almost Thanksgiving and it falls on Mom's birthday. She would have been 90.

I wanted to tell someone, although no one will read this, that I miss my friend Jim. I can't remember not having pain and I can't the last time I was happy.

Hopefully I'll be back soon.