I lost my closest brother last year on September 24th, two days after his 54th birthday. That's just too young. He had an enlarged heart, it was three times the size it should have been, unfortunately there are usually no symptoms. That's was the case with him. The only good thing is that it took him quick and he probably felt nothing.
We were always very close as kids because we were closest in age and we had three older brothers but they weren't around much.
I'm still very upset about his death. I just can't seem to shake it, even though I've been living in the UK and haven't seen him for 14 years. I got to talk to him once in a while on the phone. He was a workaholic and didn't have much time. Being over here I guess I really got no closure. In a way it's easier. I just keep thinking he's back home in the states, probably at the beach.
Sadly his death caused a huge family fight and left a big split in the family. It's all so stupid. I hate what alcohol does to people. I have only talked to my mother twice in 6 months which is highly unusual. I have since found out what a liar she is and how she frequently talks shit about me behind my back.
That aside, I miss my brother. I always will. He was a pretty good guy.
Autumn (and winter) are my favorite seasons so that's probably all you'll ever see on this page. I detest spring and summer.
2 comments:
Thats kinda sad Brenna my condolences to you, the same thing happened after my Granddad died, the whole family went to shit, its like he held the family together, when he was gone it was never the same again.
even after all these years I have forgiven, but can never bring myself to forget the hurt they caused me and mum, maybe in the next life we all laugh about it.
The part that really pisses me off is that my mom is listening to my drunk ex-sisters-in-law. I guess she's just used to believing the drunks. I have only spoken to her twice since my brother died. We used to talk once a week. I don't really miss her. She's 87 and I know I will feel bad when she goes but we don't talk now so no difference there. I do want to tell her how I feel before that. I didn't get a chance to confont my dad before he died for the horrible things he did to me.
It's the finding out how bad she is talking about me and my old high school friend that makes me so angry. She wanted to go to the funeral but in-laws said no. They are filling my mom's tiny brain with garbage and I'm not there to stick up for my friend. She was like family. My dad tried some funny stuff with her once when Mom and I were in Egypt. Naturally, Mom doesn't believe it, even though she knows what a sicko he was.
I had to totally block one of my nieces from my life. Another drunk. I know her father (my brother) is probably spinning in his grave because of all this shit. I miss him. I keep forgetting I can't call him or send him an e-mail. I feel lost still. I have no family except for my husband and my cat.
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